I have sinned…
By
John Rocker
I’ve been transformed.
I John Rocker am new man.
I John Rocker have
washed all the racist bigotry slime off my now squeaky-clean
ivory white skin and John Rocker is ready to embrace my fellow man -
whether he be black, brown,
yellow, or mulatto.
It’s truly amazing what
those high-paid head-shirkers can do.
I, John Rocker, no longer look at illegal aliens with the same
disgust as I used to. No,
John Rocker now takes it as a complement when these hard working, off
times heroic, Spanish speaking people risk life and limb to
sneak into my country to start a new life.
Now I say let them have all the shopping carts they
want.
And gone is my disdain for
the New York subway system, for I now see the subway as it
truly is… a shinning melting pot on wheels, heralding the
American dream as it click-clacks down the tracks or equality
toward a promising future.
Color
John Rocker enlightened
because I now know that minorities, and people of color, are
not to be feared, for I have learned they are my wide-eyed
friends, my pals, and my brothers.
I now yearn for the day when our children can play
together in that big multicolored sandbox we call hope.
Now I know what some of you
are thinking, “John Rocker, the former big-mouthed, dull
normal racist doesn’t have anything bad to say about anybody
anymore? How can
he do it? Just
how could that be? How
could he have hated so many people so vehemently, and then
suddenly do a 180 without going insane?”
Well gang, I’ll let you
in on a little secret. You
see, if I had to give up hating people all together you’re
right, I’d surely have gone nuts. Right now I’d be locked up with all the other drooling
retards sucking up free mind-altering prescription drugs on
the taxpayer’s dime. But
through counseling I learned to “re-channel” my hatred
into something that was both constructive and politically
correct.
Through counseling I
learned there is still one group of people you can still get
away with slurring and racially degrading.
A race of people nobody gives two-shits about.
A group of individuals who you can call every down home
racist name in the book, dump all over, and it’s still not
considered racism. Of
course I’m talking about white people.
They’ve still fair game.
So let’s get to it…
Poor white trash:
I am sick and tired of seeing these back-woods, snaggle-toothed,
beer guzzling, chili fry eating, 99 Cent Store wearing, cousin
marring, Springer appearing, 3rd generation welfare
recipients living it up on the welfare check that I provide
them while I work my fingers to the bone pitching in the major
leagues. Does
that seem right to you? Me
neither.
I mean you’re talking
about people whose only talent is lighting their own farts
with disposable lighters which I pay for with my tax dollars.
Have you seen the movie Deliverance?
Well it was kind to these backwoods Gomers.
And let me tell you
something, I live in Georgia, so I know a thing or two about
ignorant white people. There’s millions of ‘em down here. Hell, look at Ted Turner for crying out loud.
Take away the Armani suit, toss his ass into a broken
down pick-up truck, and you’d need dental records to tell
him apart from the other retard rednecks.
It’d be like Where’s Waldo for inbreds.
I’m so glad I got that
off my chest, I feel much better now.
Oh, time for my medication.
Well, see'ya all next
week.
John Rocker
