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John
Off
His Rocker
A new Satire column by John Rocker
Okay, there are just a few things I want to
clear up. First off, allow me to intorduce myself; my name is John
Rocker. Well, while I was on the road last month I ran into some
-- (satire cut due to
racist remark by Mr. Rockers -- The Editors)
And he says to me, "Look here, John
Rocker, it's none of your damn business
what I name my children."
And then I say, "Oh yeah, well let me tell you
something, Pico De Puke-o, you and all of your little street gang children John
Rocker thinks..." -- (satire
cut due to racist remarks by Mr. Rocker -- The Editors)
Later we went back to the room and I put on some music,
the kind of stuff women like. Then she kissed me, the way John Rocker
likes it, and we started making out. Then she pulled off her top.
"Wow, you don't have any tan lines," I
said.
That's when she told me she was a frekin' -- (content
edited due to racist views -- The Editors)
(satire edited due to racist views by Mr. Rocker -- The Editors)
And that's how you assemble a dining room
table. Which we wouldn't have to do in the first damned place if all our jobs
weren't shipped overseas to people who can make furniture which doesn’t have
to be put together in the first damned place. I mean come on, really, have you ever seen some of
these -- (content
edited due to racist views Mr. Rocker -- The Editors)
Then, the spacecraft circled around and
landed. We all pulled over to the side of the road to look. A bright
light shined on us and it was if time and space stood still. A hatch
opened, and we feared for our lives. Then several aliens stepped out all
chanting "John Rocker" and
… speaking of aliens, when is our government going wake up and do something
about this illegal alien situation we have. The other day I ran into one
of these -- (satire cut due
to racist views by John Rocker -- The Editors)
Anyway, it sure is nice to have a forum to
vent and air my views, my way. I want to thank The Newz.com for this
opportunity, and I look forward to a long relationship.
John Rocker
TheNewz.com is the only place on
the Internet where you can get John Rocker's column
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