A Georgia man saw an unattended police car parked on a deserted city
street. Thinking he'd help himself to the weapons inside, he opened the
back door, slipped inside, and quietly pulled the door shut. He spent
the night locked inside the car. The next morning he was taken into
custody by a well rested cop.
Are you feeling safer these days? You shouldn't be. The GAO has
confirmed that out of a quarter million hacker attempts to access
Department of Defense computers, 65% were probably successful.
A San Francisco bank robber entered a Bank of America branch and
wrote, "This iz a stikkup. Put all your muny in this bag" on a
blank deposit slip and politely waited in line for the next available
teller. The line was taking too long, so he went across the street and
robbed the Wells Fargo branch.
He handed his note to the teller. "I'm sorry," the teller
advised him. " This is Wells Fargo. I can't accept a stick-up note
written on a Bank of America deposit slip. You'll have to go back
to Bank of
The disappointed thug went back across the
street to re-rob the Bank of America. The Wells Fargo teller then called the
police, who arrived in time to find the crook once again waiting in line
at the Bank of America.
Another San Francisco bank robber robbed one teller and then strolled
over to the new accounts desk to open a savings account with his newly
acquired wealth. The first teller quietly called the police while the
second teller helped him complete his application.
Two women were arrested in Johannesburg's airport trying to smuggle
nearly a million dollars worth of diamonds out of South Africa in
condoms inserted into their private parts. Police didn't say how they
found them, but there was a confrontation between officers over who was
going to get to search the travelers.
Anal retentiveness = Anal rape. USA Today reports a to-do
list found on two Vermont robbers said, 'Drive to Maine. Get safer place
to stay. Buy guns. Get Marie. Get car. Do robbery. Go to New York.'
people who are weird...
This time art imitated life just a little to closely. A former
butcher turned award-winning sculptor was arrested after police
discovered dozens of 'disgusting' human remains in his studio.
Anthony-Noel Kelly, a cousin of the Duke of Norfolk, was renowned for
his lifelike molds of human bodies. Now it appears he was making actual
castings from real human parts. The story broke when a patron
thought he recognized a deceased friend in a head-with-brain-exposed
Who says the government doesn't have a sense of humor? Well,
this guy for one -- A Philadelphia man was put under psychiatric
care after mailing a Molotov cocktail to President Clinton. He
sent a manila envelope containing kerosene in a plastic bottle with a
wick. (Note to Janet Reno -- Please look up the word JOKE in
people who suck...
FBI agents caught up with a suspected bank robber after finding his
graduation certificate from an anger-management course in the vault.
Johnny Lee Miller is accused of taking $34,804 from First Utah Bank on
New Year's Eve. The FBI said he slid a gun out from an envelope
and said, "Where is your money?" The suspect took the
gun with him but left behind the envelope, which contained the
certificate that was issued by the Utah Department of Corrections.
Six female inmates at the Dallas TX highrise city jail suffered
severe wrist injuries when elevator doors closed and the elevator took
off after just 4 of 15 handcuffed-together prisoners had gotten off.
And just when you were thinking the FBI was a little too anal
retentive… among the FBI tips posted at Pathfinder's Unabomber site on
what can give away a mail bomb package is 'protruding wires'
A Pennsylvania prison board dines on deer meat today as they consider
whether to allow 'road kill' deer to be brought in and cooked for
inmates, as was common until the 1960's.
A Modesto, California man used an unusual technique in an effort to
rob a Bank of America branch office. He used a thumb and finger to
simulate a gun but, unfortunately, forgot to keep his hand in his
pocket. He was arrested without incident.
A jury ordered a Charlotte NC skydiving instructor to pay $90,000 to
a woman whose breasts he fondled with his free hands during a tandem
training jump. For the jump, the woman was strapped directly in front of
him, with her arms extended up hanging onto the shrouds.
A Virginia carpenter, with a history of mental disorders, is suing a
hospital and its doctors for $3 million for letting him refuse to allow
them to reattach his hand. He thought the hand was possessed by the
devil after he saw the sign '666' on it, so he cut it off with his
circular saw. The surgeons had even consulted a judge, but his advice at
the time was to adhere to the man's wishes.
A bank robber was arrested the day after the robbery at a motel near
the state line, only twenty miles away. The arresting officers asked him
why he risked staying at a motel so close to the scene of the
crime. "I'm on parole and can't cross the state line without
the permission of my parole officer," he explained.
A Los Angeles man gave himself away during an L.A.P.D. police lineup.
When each man was asked to repeat the words, "Give me all your
money or I'll shoot," the man shouted, "Hey, that's not what I
In a case of real blue balls, a bank robber in Virginia Beach stuffed
the bag of cash down his pants as he fled the scene. Unfortunately for
him, the teller had planted an explosive dye pack in the bag with the
cash. It went off and so did he.